Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
