this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
