can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
