1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
