Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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