I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize