Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He kissed a someone with a penis
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
