Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Say something about gay babies.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
