I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize