I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Swine flu. Run for my life!
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
