It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
