How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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