just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize