I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
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