Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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