And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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