If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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