i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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