I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
