...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Randomize
