just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
