yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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