When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
