By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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