I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
