So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize