If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
