the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Randomize
