I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
