i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
