I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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