Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
