maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
