yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
