Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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