your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
time to smoke my breakfast
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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