If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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