he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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