this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
smell my finger.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
