i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I cut my penus on the lid.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
