If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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