I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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