guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
