I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
