i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
