are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
