I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
