He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He keeps bees of course he's weird
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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