I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
