I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
