sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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