We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
