3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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