Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
