Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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